Hello Everyone, This Is Michael The Traveling Trucker. Today’s adventure begins with the HEART.
I have had my wife Regina, tell me over and over -soft words and gentle hands, dealing with my 2 daughters growing up. They are grown now 31 and 20. I still believe in soft hands and gentle words when they come visit. I have always been very excitable person type. I get real loud, and sometime not so gentle.
I hope people will read this and begin using soft words and gentle hands with their families.
Here are three reasons to lower your voice rather than yell to get your point across:
1. Feel calmer and more in control – when you consciously decide to lower your voice rather than yell, you give yourself time to think through what you want to say. This also gives you the opportunity to think through possible consequences or ways to keep the conversation positive and productive.
2. Be heard – more than likely, your children are tuning you out when you yell. Instead of getting your point across, your children are simply responding to your emotional reaction. Calming your voice takes away the fight. You have the opportunity to speak clearly; in a way that shows respect and opens up a conversation rather than a shouting match.
3. Model the behavior you want to see – ideally, you want your children to respond to you calmly and respectfully. Demonstrating this behavior for your children is much more powerful and meaningful than lecturing and constantly reminding them what you expect
.Next time you feel yourself becoming upset or frustrated with your children, hold back from yelling or screaming. Try taking a deep breath and speaking softly and neutrally, almost as if you were reading a book out-loud. If you feel frustrated, angry or if your blood pressure is rising, take a break and return to the conversation when you can speak calmly again.
Gentleness Includes Tone of Voice and Movement
Too many toddlers learn gentle touch but startle their newborn siblings or pets by making frenzied movements or using shrill voices. Teach toddlers to exhibit calmness and gentleness through slow, controlled motions, soft voices, and gentle touch. Demonstrate how toddlers should touch babies (include when and where as well) and how baby animals should be petted. Teach them to approach playmates in the same manner. Parents should teach small children that neither their peers nor older children or adults enjoy being poked, prodded, yelled at, or kicked, even during playtime.
Parents Should Be Positive Role Models
Kids learn best by example. As a result, adults should use calm and gentle tones and actions if they want their children to do the same.2 If parents behave in a gentle manner, toddlers will understand how it feels to be yelled at versus how it feels to be spoken to gently. If parents constantly yell or make a frenzy, toddlers won’t learn to behave otherwise.
It can be intimidating knowing that you are modeling the behavior your children will adopt each moment of every day.
Yet if you look at this another way, it means that you are in control of much of what your child will mimic, and instructing your child in gentle behavior is sometimes as simple as modeling it yourself.
Praise Children Generously for Behaving Gently. Positive reinforcement is more effective than negative reinforcement in effecting change in our children.